My recent post about hydration stations got me thinking. Water is great, water is essential… but sometimes you want to drink something other than water. Plus, I don’t know about you, but sleep deprivation tends to send me on sugar binges. Which cause wild mood swings for me, and just bad times in general. I got to thinking: what would be a simple but tasty drink that mamas could knock together quickly and enjoy? And this is what I came up with:
Simple & tasty mama tea
You can sip this nourishing and delicious tea throughout the day. I’ve found that it’s also helpful for keeping me hydrated enough for breastfeeding: In a quart jar (such as a canning/mason jar), add one quart boiling water to:
My family walks as much as possible. I think that walking as a part of life is revolutionary. Our cities are set up more and more for cars and capitalism than for humans. I see things around me that I would miss were I to drive. Walking to get places provides a huge amount of community involvement. Lately I have felt a bit confused about what I can do in terms of political involvement and social justice work. I feel overwhelmed with what is going on in the world, and limited in my capacity to be involved because of my commitment to my small children, and also overwhelm of sleepless nights. I decided to start noticing and appreciating what I am already doing that I consider important/political/revolutionary. Once I have noticed some of the things I do which are already integrated, I can more easily assess where I might add a few more things to my days.
It’s movement (some would say exercise) but it’s actually so much more than that.
When I walk, I see how much plastic washes up on the banks of of a river and am reminded of my commitment to keep supporting political movements which decrease our reliance on plastic as well as my own commitment to reduce my consumption of disposable (and recyclable) items. When I walk, I meet the city’s homeless population and have a much more direct and personal interaction with some of our most vulnerable citizens. It is all-too-easy to avoid eye-contact when I am driving. When I repeatedly see some of these folks, I remember to carry dry socks, or a gift certificate to a local food store. I remember to support agendas which provide better housing options. I remember that homelessness is a social justice issue, that there is a disparity in fairness within our society. As I walk I see what’s going on in my neighborhood. I experience how walkable our community is or isn’t. I see where we might need another crosswalk by that playground, especially for folks in wheelchairs and when I walk I am much more liable to write to my city about these issues. I remember to donate money to causes which uphold the standard of care for our vulnerable citizens. It’s movement (some would say exercise) but it’s actually so much more than that. Walking gives us an opportunity to have face-to-face contact with people in our community. We run into people and establish simple connections we would miss in a car. Today I walked by a neighbor’s house and discovered that it is the home of one of my daughter’s schoolmates. The parents and I chatted a bit about our kids, I was invited to a potluck next door to their house and we made some tentative playdates for us and the kids. So much fun! We find that we have many random, beneficial and informal interactions when we bike or walk.
Choosing not to drive gives us an opportunity to slow down.
We recently got a bike which can hold both kids. If I am going to walk or jump on the bike with my two kids and I have to use my own body to get there, I will only do it when I feel up to spending the energy it takes to travel there. If I lazily climb into my car, I car quite easily do too many things and stretch myself beyond my own and my children’s capacity. Thus, our choice of transport self-regulates our actions. Things are a little different when we have to be somewhere at a specific time, but I have noticed a positive overall effect.
Walking through wild lands lets me experience the calming effect these places have, and experience how me and my children learn from being in undeveloped nature. When I experience this and see what richness it gives to my children, I remember that I want to support the political causes which protect undeveloped land and the environment. To add to all of this, my choice to walk as much as possible decreases my family’s reliance on the oil industry which could be another lengthy article in and of itself. Reducing our reliance on oil is a huge priority for our family because of the impact on global politics, the environment and humanitarian issues.
When walking with young kids, I have to walk with not much agenda, and therefore need to go out with the openness to see what happens in order to go at their pace. My 11-month-old has been walking for 3 months now and she recently started being able to walk with us on walks little bits at a time. It’s pretty thrilling. What’s even more exciting is seeing things through both of my kids’ eyes. I think that when my first daughter was little I had such a hard time slowing down and letting go of the desire to keep walking and get somewhere, that I often spent my walks lamenting the slow pace, trying to entice her along and missed out on some of the wonder. Now with my second child, I am still learning to relax but I have learned that the walks with my kids offer a different opportunity than a solo walk. I try to structure in my own time to get faster paced walks a few times a week. That helps me slow down and see what my kids find. Our lives have become so fast paced I welcome the opportunity to slow down.
Walking gives us a chance to experience wonder.
Today I walked with just the little one. We encountered so much wonder on our walk! Last year I walked around looking for the first signs of spring with her in my belly, waiting out the last few weeks of pregnancy while taking lots of walks and noticing the build of spring: the first snowbells, violets and crocuses which then led into blooming trees, budding leaves and daffodils a few days after her birth. This year I get to share these things with her. I can hardly believe this year has flown by so quickly and just revel in the moments when I show her things. Today we saw the first plum blossoms, many growing daffodil stems and a magnificent flock of geese. It’s amazing as a parent to watch someone so young discover, for the first time, the wonder of watching a flock of geese fly in formation. We heard the sound before we spotted them and when she saw them her face completely lit up with amazement and surprise. She followed them through the sky with her gaze while making tiny coos, baby words and chuckles.
All the of the above stated reasons are the things I want to teach my children. I walk with them too because I want us all to stay healthy, but even more than that I want them to see the community, understand what is going on around us, see that there are vulnerable lands and people in our city which desperately need our support. I walk because I want to be here, taking care of this city and this world with all of you.
If you would like to get access to free videos, some of which apply directly to this post, sign up here! http://eepurl.com/gYbCd1 Taking a walk with kids is something we could all become well-versed in right now. Facing the inability to go to the playground means that we have a rare opportunity to really find ways to immerse ourselves in nature with our children. I know full well that this is not always easy. We have had a long-standing morning routine of getting outside first thing after breakfast. Two mornings per week my kids go to nature school. So, the other mornings I take all 3 kids outside (5,3, and 6 months) and the other mornings I take just the baby. But for now I will take all 3 kids out all 5 mornings. This morning I was tired. We have kept most of the information about this virus from our kids and just given them a simple explanation that “there is more sickness in the world than usual so we can’t go to school, the library or the park.” But they sense something. Both my girls have had insomnia during the night for the past few and I am tired today. Night wakings from 3 at once can get exhausting. So, I was tired and I really didn’t feel like motivating them to go on a walk, which was the most accessible thing to do today. Luckily for me it is a routine, which makes it come a little easier, and I know full well that the entire day will be better when we spend the first part of the day outside. There are a few reasons it makes everything better. Before we had kids, my husband and I loved to hike together and now we still love to be outside to walk and hike as a family. Yes, there are challenges, and yes, it’s different from hiking just as two adults. However, hiking and taking walks with small children can be really fun. Here are some of the things we’ve learned to help us enjoy these times outside being active with our kids.
But why would you do this with children that young?
I know what you might be thinking: “That sounds difficult and frustrating, and you will not get anywhere!”
We had times where we felt like that too. Then we asked ourselves a simple question:
“Why do we like walking and hiking?”
When you ask yourself this question, some obvious answers could be:
Getting exercise
Being outside and in nature
Discovering something new or beautiful
Getting the chance to talk with friends or spouse
Regulating sleep cycles
There are many more benefits, as outlined in this article.
Focus on the little discoveries, not the big trail
It turns out that we can accomplish all of the above points with our children. Especially with the discovery of something new or beautiful, children actually enrich the experience. Kids discover things all the time. By slowing the whole process down, you are more likely to find and take the time to rescue the lonely turtle out of a puddle. Even the getting exercise part can be enriched, as you will add different movements to your walk by…
Bending down to inspect flowers or insects,
Walking off the path,
Carrying your toddler
Looking up into the sky to watch a flock of birds
Practicing any stretch/strength moves such as some squats while the kids pick flowers, a calf stretch on a rock while they are catching up, or a single leg balance while you wait to cross the street. (Check out the deck of Mama Moves Cards for more ideas! The cards and online course are on sale through school closure time for 30% off using coupon code MOVEWITHKIDS)
So, everything should be fine, but why can hiking/walking appear to be so difficult?
..Well, we noticed that on a hike, we would often come to a place and say things like, “I want to walk the long five-mile trail today,” or, “Let’s go to the top and back.”
So, we were setting goals to pursue for our hike that turned out to be fulfilling in the past, i.e., before we had children… And guess what?
It does not work with young children (yet).
Hiking as a family means having different considerations. You can push yourself, but you have to make sure not to push your little one over the edge into being cold, tired, hungry, or feeling like they have nothing to do but just go along with whatever mom or dad are doing.
Sometimes engaging them is as simple as: “Look at this stick over there! How does it feel when you hold it? What sounds does it make when I tap it on the ground?” One wintery hike we asked dour kids to help us gather evergreen boughs and “sweep” the path. That worked wonders and we hiked about two miles, even with two toddlers!
Kids know that there is an entire world to explore when walking and hiking. Well, it took us adults some time not to feel we were missing out on our hikes, until we realized that although our personal “goals” are very different from our children’s during hikes, we do not have to miss out. See, whatever happens, we are in nature, we are exercising, we are discovering, and we do spend time with each other.
Setting goals and expectations
If we want to set a quantifiable goal for a hike, we now set a minimum duration in hours, not miles. Instead of focusing on hiking to a certain point or distance, we focus on being together, exploring, and paying attention to what our girls need. This gives the flexibility to stop for long times, yet often we can still get very far.
Okay, you might say, that all sounds nice, but how do I get my toddler to walk at all?
I get it. Four hours spent in nature with a whining child ten feet away from the starting point, is not cool. My honest answer is that I don’t know how to avoid it completely, but we are getting smarter over time and learning what works for our kids. Some walks will be harder, and some easier just as every day with children can look really different. Over time, when walks become a habit, they WILL grow and it WILL get easier. Many people I have talked to expect their kids to complain on walks. But when I ask them how frequently they walk with their kids, the answer is “occasionally.” which typically means less than every week. When kids get accustomed to good, relaxed times being spent on walks they will look forward to it and accept it as a normal part of life. My kids complain if we ever have to go in the car because their “normal” is biking or walking. You mileage will vary of course, as you figure out what works and doesn’t for your kids, but here is an excerpt of what we have learned so far: Most important:
Bring lots and lots of snacks and food, and take long breaks to eat.
Bring enough clothes so you do not get cold.
If they are unmotivated to walk, you can give them tasks during the walk:
Can you carry this big stick for me?
Can you find a purple flower blooming already?
Do you want to carry this lunch bag?
Do you want to hold hands with you sister/brother?
Kids love to have tasks and help out. For example, taking kids out to gather something works really well too:
Let’s find things to make a fairy house at home! (Sticks, bark, flowers, leaves, lichens, etc.)
See the apple tree at the top of this hill? Let’s hike to it so we can pick apples!
Can you find the dandelions? Let’s pick a bouquet!
Can you look for the blackberries we are going to pick?
Be prepared to carry your child for periods of time if (s)he is tired. This one really is a win-win if approached with a certain mindset. You can get really strong from carrying children if you are mindful of your alignment and carry them in a variety of positions:
Try side carry keeping your spine stacked, or a piggy-back where you ask them to help hold on with their arms (older kids), or on the shoulders.
All of the times carrying kids will enhance your core, arm, hand, leg and foot strength.
It can be a really fun connection with kids.
Wearing a baby carrier can be a nice tool too.
Play some silly games, or make up some silly songs while walking.
I am going to hide, can you find me?
Chase me!
Can you walk like a frog? A bear?
Can you make a sound like that bird?
Want to play “I Spy?”
Make up your own games/songs stories! I mentioned the “sweep the path” directive above and lately we have also been playing a game we made up one day called “I wish I could see.” We were 1/2 block from home when the 3-year-old started seriously dragging and I really had to pee. TO keep her moving I said “I wish I could see a clown fish perched on top of a tree!” They picked it up and started saying all kinds of silly combinations of things they wish they could see.. (“I wish I could see a horse on that porch. I wish I could see a pig carrying a teapot…”)
It can also really help to take friends along on a walk. More adults mean more people to carry the kids, make up games, and bring fresh ideas. Friends for the kids are almost always motivating for each other. If you invite a friend or two it also stacks in #vitamincommunity with your walk… (Not right now, huh? This was written a couple years ago. Right now I opt for family walks and occasional one-on-one walks with a friends, staying several feet apart.)
Yes, meltdowns can happen too.
If your child is having a hard time… One of the things I try to remember is that I am always less stressed outside and it can be a great place to give some space for little ones to feel and process through emotions. When they are having feelings, I try to stay centered myself in order to give them patience and give myself calm. I take deep breaths, I try to feel my own body and remember that it is not my job to “fix” their feelings but rather that the ability to feel our emotions and process them is an asset to our own humanity. We are likely all feeling A LOT these days and so are the little ones.
Take a break and find out what they are feeling.
Ask where they feel this emotion in their body? (This works with our 5 year old and sometimes with the younger one. In general you can just be there for them to support their feelings and that works too.)
Talk about what you see, hear, have picked up, etc.
Ask if there’s something scaring the child, especially if being outside is not part of your normal routine.
Try to get to where you can continue on a little more. If the child is fed, hydrated, not cold, etc., then can often recover quickly.
No matter what though, it’s okay to turn back too. Sometimes a hike might get cut short. The trail will still be there next time.
Each step can build a love of being outside and being together as a family
The biggest point here isn’t the hike itself. What matters is that you got outside, together as family, and took a walk and hike with your little ones. The memories you build on that hike can grow into a bigger love of being outside and having family togetherness, so there can be more hikes to come.
I wrote this the day before Thanksgiving. I have tried to edit it as little as possible, and to include the most real/unflattering images to capture the feelings of this day and mental state. Most days aren’t quite like this, and we have many sweet days and beautiful moments too. Thanks for reading.
I’ve been thinking about the concept of radical honesty lately, and considering how I can implement the concept into my life. I also have been thinking lots about how we are all shaped by, and shape ourselves for, social media. There is more and more personality curation I sense in myself when I present myself through social media because that is one way I protect myself. Because my business is on social media and it feels implicit that we supposed to act a certain way that does not include radical honesty when we are in business. Fuck that. Radical honesty: today is hard. This week is hard. Having 3 small kids is hard. I don’t really like being a parent this week. I feel only 1/2 way in reality the past few days and have no idea how to get off of the merry-go-round of exhaustion I currently inhabit. I sometimes wish that it was some personal failing of mine that was causing me to not get enough rest. But it’s largely tied to the fucked up system we exist within in that doesn’t support families. I mean, how could we support families when we don’t even support basic humanity or the environment?
I have childcare right now for 3 precious hours. (At least childcare for my kids. The baby is with me) In those 3 hours I have wandered around wondering what I could, should or want to do? I am in a state of exhaustion where I don’t know the answer to any of those questions. I feel like I need a manager today, someone who can say: “Now is a good time to rest. Try to fold some laundry while baby plays and then walk to the store for groceries.” That would be nice because my head feels completely jumbled in it’s current state. I am utterly disconnected from my needs, desires and what is possible in the small moments I have between soothing baby, feeding him and changing him… This morning with all best intentions I walked the 3 blocks to the store with the baby sleeping in a wrap, and the 2.5 year old and 5 year old walking (while fighting over who got to pull the wagon). Upon arriving at the store, the baby was inconsolable in the carrier and therefore I only had one hand which meant I couldn’t really navigate the store at all. I stood waiting for the bathroom to empty for a bit because I had to wash his pacifier which had fallen on the floor (a pacifier is a thing I thought I might never use and right now kind of worship TBH)…as I stood waiting for the bathroom I thought about trying to navigate the store one-handed.
We had a list of 25 things, some of which were bulk items like honey. I tried to think about how much my 5-year-old could do for me (she often does A LOT) and was almost considering it until the girls got into some argument which left the 2.5-year-old screeching. The toddler thought that the shelf of lip balm was candy, and the 5-year-old tried to correct her. The toddler insisted in a high-pitched screech “NO IT IS CAAAANNNNDY!!!” such that the whole store would know. At that point I decided to jump ship. After I had washed the pacifier, I realized that I couldn’t put the baby back in the wrap or put him in the wagon without him screaming bloody murder. And I also couldn’t negotiate the wagon out of the store one handed. I stood there for a few more minutes puzzling this out. Luckily an acquaintance came in and when she asked how I was doing I answered honestly that it was a tough moment. She offered to help me and got us out of the store.
Once we were at home, I just gave up on plans. I wandered aimlessly around the house because (of course) the baby was sleeping peacefully once we got home. The girls stripped their clothes off and played some game which involved lots more screeching and throwing my therapy balls from the kitchen to the living room. At least they were occupied. At least they only woke the baby up a few times during this nap. At least I could maybe go to the store later… I checked Facebook more than I am proud of and did some online shopping. Online shopping for used items can sometimes give me a vague sense of purpose on days like this which feels strangely rewarding and vaguely unhealthy at the same time. Just now he went to sleep in the woven wrap on my chest. I thought I might walk to the store and get the things to make the couple of simple recipes I desperately want to concoct in my kitchen today. But I knew that didn’t feel like a good use of my time. I don’t want to spend this precious time in a crazed store around all of the thanksgiving shoppers. So I climbed into a bed covered in dirty spit-up rags, random things like baby nail clippers, breast pads, hemorrhoid cream, dirty clothes and clean clothes from me and baby…the sheets are semi-clean at least. I lay there a bit. I got the baby settled on the bed, out of the woven wrap (a small mercy because that doesn’t always stay asleep alone these days.) I thought about clipping his nails which are wicked-long. He scratches me on the chest when he gets upset. No, I decided I didn’t want to clip the nails right now, I feel like I “should” sleep. But I don’t want to. I am so tired that it will take me most of the last hour I have childcare to fall asleep and that doesn’t feel worth it. I want to stretch and also dump some of these wild thoughts out of my brain. I have too many thoughts today and many conflicting, confusing and unclear musings. I want to write this down. I get my computer and sit down on the floor to stretch while I type. So far it’s pretty satisfying. I am also drinking a small glass of wine which adds to my satisfaction. And I am still exhausted. Earlier today I considered if it would be possible for me to sleep less in order to have some time alone around my house—time to tidy things without distraction, or make something or just do things like this more regularly. Considering how to sleep less in the midst of this much exhaustion is kind of comical. Radical honesty: it is really difficult for me to admit that having 3 small children is hard. I am concerned that if I admit it’s hard people will say “I told you so. Having 3 is too many etc. etc.” And what if I ever wanted to have or to adopt more kids? Would people condemn me and say “You can’t have more. It was too hard for you.” It was hard enough going through a third pregnancy and having certain types of people greet me by saying things like “Oh, you are having ANOTHER??” or “You’re pregnant AGAIN?” or “Are you going to stop after this one?” No polite: “Congratulations!” or anything like that. Only judgement. But I don’t want those experiences and my fears to stop me from being honest. I want to be able to honestly share when the days are hard, when it’s hard to muster the compassion over and over and over again to be kind to the kids in the midst of a difficult day. I want to be able to relate that there are moments when I am overcome with rage on the inside, because this is a hard job and there are times I am at a loss for how to cope. I want to share that I think the overwhelm is normal, the rage is normal and the difficulty is 100% normal and even ok. I do know that all of this is only ok when I share it honestly and commiserate with other moms. This postpartum time has been better than the others partially because I am starting to know more and more how to do things one little step at a time and how to let things go. These are things I have learned in part from teaching Mamas how to slip little bits of selfceare into daily routines with kids. These little things help me float through it all, like today as I type this and straddle stretch on the floor. Like yesterday when I did lat stretches while my 2-year-old sat on the potty and chatted with me…and like last week when the only thing I did in one day that felt at all constructive for my well-being was to roll my foot out with a rubber ball for a mere 30 seconds before all hell broke loose once again. But I told myself that my 30 second sojourn into taking care of my body was enough, that it mattered and that I didn’t need to worry about doing more that day. And it did help, it was enough and some days are just like that.
This is all much more ok when I ask for help and allow people to help—things that are difficult for me. We have been surrounded by loving help from our friends, family and community in the past few months of late pregnancy and new baby. It has been amazing, and I feel thoroughly grateful. I know the ability to reach out for support and allow myself to lean in to that support has been huge this time around and I wish that for everyone. I hope that when I have written into Mama Moves Cards and into the Video course that it is crucial to find companionship and support in self care, that it helps connect people with their bodies, their friends and their community. Some days, I am lucky enough to sink into this beautiful body I inhabit and give thanks that I am not doing all of this alone, and recognize that it’s hard shit and I am a good mom.
If you would like to get access to free videos, some of which apply directly to this post, sign up here! http://eepurl.com/gYbCd1 One of the things I love doing is telling little mundane stories to my kids. I also love to make up gloriously magical stories, but at some point I realized how much they love it when I tell something simple and straight out of everyday life.
I have made a habit of taking a solo walk almost every day. Sometimes they don’t want me to go, but it turns out if I bring them a story they are happy to let me go. One day the story went like this: “here is the story of when Mama slipped and fell in the muddy-mud. One morning, Mama went out for her walk. She walked up the hill, turned right, walked up another HUGE hill, turned right again and then reached the golf course. She walked into the golf course and thought ‘hmmmm…I will take this shortcut across the grass.’ Unfortunately, when she started to cross the grass she SLIPPED on some muddy-mud and fell down. She got mud on her leg, her feet, and even her back! Mama said a strong word and then got up. She thought about walking home and then decided that it was only mud and her body felt ok so she would travel on and finish her walk.” They loved this story and it turns out that these little mundane stories are the ones they want me to repeat over and over again. This particular story was originally told about 8 months ago and they still ask to have it repeated. Yesterday I went on a social-distance walk with my brother and we walked through the golf course and encountered some of that muddy-mud. I told them about it when I got home, then my husband went on a run through the same path and also told them of the muddy-mud. When we got outside this morning, and started our walk, they wanted to walk to see the muddy-mud! I knew it would take us about an hour to get there and though I questioned whether the 3-year-old could make it that far without huge hassles (I couldn’t carry her because it was just me with baby, 5-year-old and 3-year-old…) I decided we should do it. Armed with snacks and a thermos of coconut tea (it’s coconut rooibos tea from Mountain Rose Herbs. Super delicious…) we headed up the hill…
We made it there in about an hour and they were so engaged talking about where we would go, when we would see the muddy-mud etc. After we saw the mud, we stopped and had a nice snack and tea time. When we turned around to walk back, it turned out that the 3-year-old slipped and fell in the muddy-mud herself!
Low and behold something that might have set her off was totally cool for her because then we had a NEW story that we could tell Papa when we saw him after work! They were both a little tired and I knew we had another hour to walk home, so I started telling stories. First we told our new story about the time Lupine fell in the muddy-mud and then moved on to old favorites…The coast story (about when we went to the coast so that Papa could remove the old carpet in our house with a friend), The Birthday cake story (the story about when we went to the store to get ingredients for Papa’s birthday cake 3 years ago) and other favorites. Telling stories while you are outside can not only engage kids and keep them moving when they are tired, but as you can see it provides a way for them to attach to the routine of being outside, anticipate things they might encounter and seek adventures.
And they just might entertain themselves in the garden by regularly painting each other with mud…
Today we used this method heavily at the end of a 3-hour walk. Ever since we walked to the muddy-mud the other day, the girls have been wanting to do it again. It takes a lot of focus and calm for me to navigate them through a 2-hour walk by myself so I told them we could do it a couple days later. Today was the day and we had decided to make a loop out of it this time. That meant we would need to stop twice for snacks and leave early enough to get home by rest/lunch time.
We managed to get out of the house on time! The first part of the walk is something we have done every day this week and now they have things they look for on the way. Kids love repetition and repeating the walk every day this week has given them knowledge and fondness for what we see along the way…first we will come to the cat tails. Next we will see the monkey tree and then the buddha garden. And then the secret garden right before we head up the huge hill! We did indeed walk to the muddy-mud, and then carried on to make our loop. We saw ANOTHER monkey tree on the other side of the muddy-mud hill and then ANOTHER secret garden. They loved finding those things and did really well making it to our second snack spot. After the second snack (we made this fun crisp-rice peanut butter things) I knew we needed to get home for lunch and also before it got too hot (it was 72 degrees here and we haven’t had that temp for 6 months or so).
About 1/2 block after this second pit stop, the 3-year-old squatted down and I could tell that she was DONE. And I knew that I couldn’t carry her and that the last 4 blocks of the walk could be treacherous. I tried to start a new story. She kept stopping to squat down. I doubled down on my intention to stay calm and connected rather than get frustrated. The very end of a walk seems to be when she often hits her edge, no matter how far we have gone and it’s when I have to dig deep for my creativity and compassion. I am often wanting to get home too (I have to pee, the baby needs to get changed or nursed…whatever it is). One of the things I am working on is allowing space and time to stop and help them when they are struggling rather than following my agenda and trying to rush through it. I am very stubborn and often too attached to my agenda and as many of us parents can relate, rushing through difficult situations can produce very contrary results with toddlers. I stopped and I acknowledged that she seemed done, and that she was ready to stop walking. I told her that I wished I could carry her but that I could not because her brother was sleeping in the carrier and I also had our snack backpack. I told her that I was sorry I couldn’t carry her right now and that we could take another little rest but that we did need to keep going home. Acknowledging her difficulty seemed to help her and as we started up again I pulled her favorite story out of my pocket…the coast story about when we went to the coast for the day because Papa was removing the carpet. And I made it EXTRA long. I added more detail than ever and it bought us 2 WHOLE BLOCKS. Only 2 more to go! She started lagging again when the story was over and I tired pointing out some of the things we were seeing. After a bit of stop-start action, I found a puffy dandelion and gave it to her and told her she could make a wish. Watching a 3-year-old blowing on the flower with the indirectness of trying to get her breath just right, while she whispered a wish was precious. I saw her preciousness and that helped me. Shortly after that her 5-year-old sister said we should play “the bear game” and at first I was worried that such a game would scare the 3-year-old and asked what it was. It was a new game that the 5-year-old seemed to have crafted on the spot in which the 3-year-old was the bear and she was chasing us. Brilliant! It worked wonders for the last 1.5 blocks. 3-year-old would start chasing us and we would run away. We would then stop feigning relief only to have her start chasing us again. We were all engaged and laughing the rest of the way home. Within the last 1/2 block we passed a black-clad skateboarder we have seen around the neighborhood. I have never seen him smile yet as we passed him he grinned broadly and after he was most of the way up the block turned and shouted: “THAT WAS THE MOST JOYOUS THING I HAVE SEEN ALL DAY! THANK YOU!!! HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY.” We had managed a wonderful 3 hour and 15 minute walk together and we returned home happily exhausted and still connected. My heart felt very happy.
